Oregon vs. Washington, The Squirrel Uprising Survival Odds

How many squirrels would we in the Pacific Northwest have to fight off if a sudden Squirrel Uprising were to occur? That’s what I’m discussing in this article!

There’s been a lot of talk in the past couple of months about how many people it would take to take down a guerrilla. Of course, no one wants to take that challenge, but it is fun (in a very weird way) to think about and discuss.

Which, by the way, the verdict in a hands-only battle would be roughly 5 to 12 men per gorilla (per the chat summary from the Facebook Group, Death Battle Fury).

Earlier this week, I wrote about an incident that happened in Washington less than a year ago, where 100 raccoons held a lady captive in her home. So are we really that far away from a ‘Squirrelmaggedon’?

Even the popular Adult Swim cartoon Rick and Morty addressed the issue (NSFW video below).

How Many Squirrels Would Each Person Have To Fight In Washington & Oregon

That brings us to the matter at hand: if squirrels were to rise up and start attacking us, how many squirrels would each person have to fight?

READ MORE: What Is The Pizza Ferret In Washington?

This issue was addressed (in a way) by StatsPanda in November of 2020, and it looks like, according to their map that they posted on Instagram, that we in Washington are looking at up to 4 squirrels per person.

In Oregon, it’s worse with an 11 to 1 ratio all the way up to a 20 to 1 ratio!

If you’re afraid of squirrels, the only safe place for you is Hawaii, and NEVER travel to Alaska (466 to 1 ratio)!

Could you take on that many squirrels? Remember, the stats are from 2020, so there might be even more squirrels to contend with. Tap the App and sound off!

Get our free mobile app