Stupid Laws In Washington State

Wherever you find an invisible border dividing up the landscape of Planet Earth, you're also sure to find a specific set of rules and laws that the people within those lines have decided everyone needs to follow.

Here at home, there are 51 United States (including the District of Columbia ;-), 3,033 individual counties within said states, and over 108,000 cities and towns...so that leaves plenty of room for plenty of officially-written regulations for the residents and visitors of all those places to abide by.

Now of course, not everybody agrees on what all of these canons and codes specify that we all must do whenever and wherever we might be subject to them, and some of them are just downright ridiculous too.

And so, now that Washington's lawmakers have half finished with the 2023 Legislative Session in Olympia, we thought it'd be highly apropos to take a look at some of the more ludicrous pieces of legislation that have found their way into the rulebooks of state, county, and city jurisdictions throughout the state over the years.

Now keep in mind that many of these laws are not really enforced, even though they still appear in written form somewhere within official statutes.

FAKE WRESTLING IS ILLEGAL

And yet the WWE is still allowed to hold events in Washington? ...seems the state's idea of "fake" is slightly different than the average person.

YOU NEED A LICENSE TO SELL CONDOMS

But not balloons, erasers, rubber bands, and about a thousand other things made from latex? Sure, makes sense to me!

MINORS NEED PARENTAL CONSENT TO THROW A CANISTER OF TEAR GAS

Well, thank God for this one!...since we know all of the ones tossed by adults are harmless.

IT'S ILLEGAL TO SLEEP IN AN OUTHOUSE WITHOUT THE OWNER'S CONSENT

I'm not sure Air B And B knows about this?

IT'S ILLEGAL TO CATCH A FISH BY THROWING A ROCK AT IT

But a stick of dynamite is totally fine, right?

YOU CAN'T RIDE AN UGLY HORSE

In the small town of Wilbur in Lincoln County, this outrageous law remains on the books. But when your town's name is Wilbur, what else would you expect?

NO WOMAN MAY SIT ON A MAN'S LAP WITHOUT A PILLOW IN BETWEEN THEM

Yup! It seems this one is really in the bylaws in Seattle, and anyone who is caught disobeying it is automatically subject to a six-month jail term...where your cell mate is sure to do the same thing when you sit on his lap, yes?

IN SEATTLE, YOU MAY NOT CARRY A CONCEALED WEAPON GREATER THAN SIX FEET IN LENGTH

Looks like Shaquille O'Neal just cancelled his visit to the Emerald City.

DANCING AND DRINKING MAY NOT OCCUR WITHIN THE SAME ESTABLISHMENT

This law is actually on the books in the City of Lynden, whose town council obviously watched the movie Footloose one too many times without rewinding it. But hell, who needs dancing anyway, right?

LOLLIPOPS ARE ILLEGAL

Apparently it's true!...and it's a state law too! Perhaps the cake pops at Starbucks also need a review in the legislature?

YOU CANNOT BUY A MATTRESS ON SUNDAY

But you can sure as hell try out the one you bought the day before after a night of drinking without dancing in Lynden!